An Unsent Letter

Writing is an art with which very few people can paint the canvasses of others and their own too. I used to love reading letters, and your letters were like-

Phaili thhi siyaah raatein, 

aaya tu subah leke.

However, I was never an artist. Therefore, 

likhtein rahein tumhe roz hi magar, 

khwahishon ke khat kabhi bheje hi nahi. 

I know you'll think, songs and writing a letter - such a cliché and kinda finishes whatever little respect you had for my intellect, right? But it was indeed letters and songs that brought 'us' from a distant 'you and I'. Yet, here 'we', rather 'you and I' are amidst all the 'dooriyan'. Maybe because in these times, we couldn't recognize ourselves and so each other. And it's not that it was without the trials and tribulations- 

Bewafa hum nahi, 

bewafa tum nahi,

Toh kyun itne gile ho gaye?

Sure, it was pathetic to live in a state where one is constantly trying to deny, but when the eyes are constantly in tears, anyone and everyone knows that it has happened. 

Bhare naina bahe more naina jhare more naina,

More naina sune nahi kehna bahe more naina. 

Khair, I don't know if so many tears could resolve the water crisis a wee bit or not. But all that release from the Lachrymal sac gave me something- a hope to try (the best of three, for one last time). 'Roothe huye ko manana', is not my forte. However, the optimist in me is at least now all geared up to improve in this department- 'der aaye durust aaye' maybe? 

And that very optimism reminds me, that negativity is a quicksand indeed- jitna nikalne ki koshish karoge, utna aur neeche doobte jaoge. I remember, 'kabhi aisa na ho ki main doob jaun, aur tumhara hath mujhe jab tak miley tab tak der na ho gayi ho!' Maybe it was too late, maybe it wasn't-

Tum ko maine chaaha bhi hai, 

Tum hi ko maine gham bhi diye,

Sharminda hoon.

Sach kehti hun, dil hi dil mein,

Sharminda hoon.

Now that I am slowly phasing into the acceptance of all of it, 

Kahin to beete kal ki jadein

dil mein hi utar jaati hain,

kahin jo dhaage toote toh 

maalaayen bhikar jaati hain.

I tried weaving them together. All I now have are remnants and I have to weave them into the tapestry of memories. Its time to move beyond the phase of - 

Na aaye ho, na aaoge.

Na phone pe bulaaoge. 

and get into the groove of this-

Koi dil mein jagah nai baaton ke liye rakhta hai,

Koi apni palko per yaadon ke diye rakhta hai.

Yet sometimes, I am reminded of these lines and now they have a different meaning for me altogether - 

Haan kaanch ka saamaan thhe, 

aur gir gaye hum.

Jod kar khud ko banane,

phir gaye hum.

Sometimes, some memories pierce deeply like shards of broken glass, 

Ae dil kisi ki yaad mein, 

hota hai bekaraar kyun?

Jisne bhula diya tujhe, 

uska hai intezaar kyun?

Khair, it's time to move ahead where the paths of life take us and to keep the warmth of the beautiful memories with these lines...

Chaahton ka mazza, faaslon mein nahi,

Aa chhupalun tumhe hauslon mein kahin.

 

I'll try to grow and cut out the weeds as time enchains and redeems me. I shall also try to believe those who say that it is the best healer. I have your words, and you have some threads probably. Here's hoping that soon you and I can heal. 

Sitaaron se aage, jahaan aur bhi hain. 

Abhi ishq ke imtihaan aur bhi hain.

Jo kho jaay raahi, tujhe aazmaane,

uthenge tassavvur ke phir silsiley...

Hope when someone calls you 'Parthsarathi', you remember-

Apne yahin, hain dono jahan,

Iske siva jaana kahaan...

Note - Due credits to the amazing lyricists of the songs used above who penned such beautiful lines..