Constant and Variables

Sitting at the quaint coffee house , she was observing people around her. Adjusting her specs , at the far end of the hall , she saw a newly married couple sharing their smiles and tears with each other. The new bride's chooda or the red bangles spoke a language of their own when she blushed at times and covered her face.  At another table, she saw a group of twenty -something's celebrating a reunion probably. Peals of laughter and jubilant expressions filled the air with positivity inside the coffee house. Another glance around and she found herself muttering - life is constant but living is variable! At the very mention of constant and variable , a feeble smile appeared on her wrinkled face. Clutching the bag closer, she frantically started rummaging the contents of her old jhola bag for a book. On finding it, she gently turned its pages searching for a letter. The letter slipped on her lap and her eyes got transfixed over it- a tear or two escaped the corners of her eyes. Wiping it away with the corner of her grey saree , she started reading it again.

Constant,

This would be your last letter from me before your life changes - for good or for bad ,  that only you will know as the time cruises because you must realize this - changes are constant but how we deal with it, is variable and that's what is the decisive factor! When I still look back upon the school days , I really become nostalgic. Changing 3 schools in 10 years ,  amongst all the friends only you remained the constant one. Remember those letters where we gave the names constant and variable to each other ? I still have those magazines where we exchanged our lives through the pen pals column because my addresses used to change! How I found you years later with the same landline number - whenever I still remember that day I can't control my laughter!

I didn't realise back then that these nicknames would almost summarize our lives till yet in one word! The only thing constant in my life was my family and you. On the other hand , I was probably the variable character in your life otherwise. The same home and neighbourhood for years , the same school and friends throughout. I could never taste that sort of stability and my hopes for the same are diminishing as life is progressing. But , there is one thing that I am sure will remain constant in our lives - this friendship! For, I can comfortably imagine that when we celebrate another milestone of our friendship - maybe a golden jubilee in the same coffee house where we celebrated the silver one. I would still be the 'variable' and you the 'constant' .

I hope this decision that you have made to settle down is after due consideration and in line with the vision of the life that you have always wanted to lead. Nowadays , I am trying to operate computers and learning about email. I will tell you all about it in the next month on your birthday when we may or may not meet.

Variable

She took out few more letters and started reading them. In one of the letters , a paragraph caught her fancy-

In all these years , the time has been and will remain the variable since times change but memories - memories remain constant. I say so because memories are those times when we keep a certain phase of the time constant in our minds - we remember them as it is. We do create new memories but the memories themselves remain constant....

Her eyes welled up. In all these years , amongst the letters exchanged , conversations over the phone calls and chats over the email, she could never tell him that in her seemingly constant life it was their friendship and him that was constant in her life. When her life was turning towards the worse , his words encouraged her. When she needed inspiration , she looked up to him. She never told him , that the books he read written by Amrita were all but her works written under that pseudonym...

Today she was sitting on the same table to celebrate the golden jubilee of their friendship which started with an exchange of a pencil and eraser at school. But it was already past two in the afternoon and there was no sight of him. A teenage girl sneaked up to her table to keep a letter and quickly ran away. Before her cracked voice could call the little girl back,  she was nowhere around. Her trembling fingers slowly opened the letter-

Constant,

All these years, I called you by that name and you called me variable. But now looking back at life, how these two names didn't remain constant flashes before my eyes. The first half of our friendship did see us sticking to our names but as we grew older I felt we slowly had a strange exchange between us. Somewhere between sharing the truths when did we start to blend the lies , I didn't realise it till I read the book 'The Green Apples by Amrita' . Its that book which brought our lies to the fore - You based it on the stories I told you about J&K posting. There are so many things I could point that would confirm that it was you , you who had written it. But even on the wheelchair, I made that journey find out her real identity. Yes, I tried to keep it hidden from you for I couldn't see the hero of the book getting handicapped! Silly of me I know, so please don't make those faces again and roll your eyes. When I found it is your address and subsequently about your life after marriage, it was really hard to imagine you in those circumstances. But I respected the limits and had to keep it to myself because somewhere down the line I cannot completely blame only you for this- I was also at fault.

Yet today, when I look back at the fifty years of this constant - variable relationship , it has stood its test of time. But alas, I wouldn't be able to join you for the golden jubilee celebrations since my health became a subject of constant variations - the last one taking my remaining breath away. Since I had promised you that 50 days before this day we won't talk I couldn't tell you how this heart attack brought me to the altar of death. This letter I dictated to my Grand-daughter and she must have left it on your table too. So I bid my final goodbye to you with the note of thanks for being the constant in my life!

I hope your address is still the same for 10 days after today, my grand children will go to your place to listen to our story with a bundle of my memories- for I want you to keep them with care!

Now my mortal absence will be constant .

Variable