Posts of the Old blog
The first poem I wrote, dates back to 26th June 2008, which subsequently became the first post when I started blogging-
Here we come, here we go
what will happen tomorrow we don't know.
Grab your life and live to the fullest,
whatever comes may live life to the best.
Don't think about your past and think of the future,
live the present like an adventure.
Do not worry as tension will arrive at every juncture,
if you do, the happiness in your life will get a bad puncture.
Surprise may come at any point in your life,
be ready to face it and strive to survive.
Those who criticise you, be thankful to them
because they analyze you and your mistakes are explained.
Be humane to everyone, care for them.
Serving people should be your aim.
And she started her mundane day all over again!
See that dark body looming over the corner table at the busy café?
That’s me…
With the outlook of that sugar-coated doughnut,
There’s a pretentious debate of whether am growing up or not.
For in this certain uncertainty,
I am losing the parts of me I loved, the things I loved,
to accept the shards of my broken being!
And sitting on that table,
Today, I’ll try to take a walk down the lane with a part of me which has right now distanced itself from the entire canvas of my existence.
Life
what will happen tomorrow we don't know.
Grab your life and live to the fullest,
whatever comes may live life to the best.
Don't think about your past and think of the future,
live the present like an adventure.
Do not worry as tension will arrive at every juncture,
if you do, the happiness in your life will get a bad puncture.
Surprise may come at any point in your life,
be ready to face it and strive to survive.
Those who criticise you, be thankful to them
because they analyze you and your mistakes are explained.
Be humane to everyone, care for them.
Serving people should be your aim.
Kahaani
She slammed the door hard and settled herself behind the steering wheel. After a dull drive of about 15 mins, her eyes soaked up the image of a tall figure walking his way towards a bus stop. Taking a deep breath in, she drove further to the stop and opened the window- a bewildered look on the man’s face and she wasn’t surprised.
“What are you doing here?”
“We really need to talk sans the screens and the distance between us now. Get inside the car quickly.”
“But my bus would be here in 15 minutes!”
“10 minutes is what I need.”
Reluctantly, he tried to fit himself inside the car and got surprised that he didn’t feel uncomfortable settling his legs. Noticing the seat, he saw it was settled in a way to embrace him in a comforting space. A slight, pleasing curve found a temporary address in his lips.
An eerie silence was growing between both of them which was battered by the start of the engine. Taking a deep breath in, she started –
“I need to detach myself from you.”
“What’s causing the block then?”
”This bond, the understanding, the situations, everything, every freaking damn thing is!”
”Look, you really need to give this time and probably something more than time, a chance – chance to make it work with someone else!”
”I can’t, because people make mistakes only once. And I can’t possibly fathom to be so vulnerable, weak to anyone else in the world. You know this very well that I am not the person to be melting to the core with anyone, but even knowing you I really couldn’t help it. ”
"I can neither give you my hatred, nor indifference because I know that you won’t be able to take it. That’s why I wanted the distance and our priorities to work the way to build the crack.”
“The cracks did build up but alas they growing in the masks that we are wearing to each other!”
“What masks?”
“If I’m masking wilderness under calm, then you’re donning exactly the opposite! And I don’t need to explain what it meant, I can clearly see it on your face that you understood!”
The sound of the silence and the heaving breaths of both the occupants was breaking each other like a heavy hammer denting a metal sheet. It was 7 minutes past crossing that bus stop.
Trying to break the silence, he took a breath and chuckled up-
“What if all of this was like TV series, and there were alternate ending theories? ”
Slipping to the comforts of the old jokes for probably the last time because she knew that she won’t have the luxury of such a place further any soon, she chimed in-
“Sounds exciting! What’s on your mind, eh? ”
“It starts to rain all of a sudden which is quite unexpected looking at the shining weather, and they share a kiss.”
” Wow, really!”, she was laughing really hard which filled the small space of the car with a pleasing echo of sorts.
“Watch out”, he screams and she takes a sharp turn.
“I didn’t know you’re such a good driver, you didn’t tell me about it before!”
With just a minute remaining, she took a roundabout to return back on the way towards the bus stop and it started raining all of a sudden.
The cacophony of a bus’s blaring horn jolted Diana out of her thoughts back to the real world. Peering outside, she was just a minute away from her office. Paying the fare, she stepped out of the cab and made her way to the lift in a hurry. 12th floor, she pressed the button. Ahead of her, two gentlemen were having a chat of which a particular line caught her fancy- (In a broken Hindi)- “Woh wife kis kaam ki who doesn’t know household work and has been brought up like a shehzaadi. Nahi chahiye aisi aurat ”
And a single thought crossed her mind-
“What are you doing here?”
“We really need to talk sans the screens and the distance between us now. Get inside the car quickly.”
“But my bus would be here in 15 minutes!”
“10 minutes is what I need.”
Reluctantly, he tried to fit himself inside the car and got surprised that he didn’t feel uncomfortable settling his legs. Noticing the seat, he saw it was settled in a way to embrace him in a comforting space. A slight, pleasing curve found a temporary address in his lips.
An eerie silence was growing between both of them which was battered by the start of the engine. Taking a deep breath in, she started –
“I need to detach myself from you.”
“What’s causing the block then?”
”This bond, the understanding, the situations, everything, every freaking damn thing is!”
”Look, you really need to give this time and probably something more than time, a chance – chance to make it work with someone else!”
”I can’t, because people make mistakes only once. And I can’t possibly fathom to be so vulnerable, weak to anyone else in the world. You know this very well that I am not the person to be melting to the core with anyone, but even knowing you I really couldn’t help it. ”
"I can neither give you my hatred, nor indifference because I know that you won’t be able to take it. That’s why I wanted the distance and our priorities to work the way to build the crack.”
“The cracks did build up but alas they growing in the masks that we are wearing to each other!”
“What masks?”
“If I’m masking wilderness under calm, then you’re donning exactly the opposite! And I don’t need to explain what it meant, I can clearly see it on your face that you understood!”
The sound of the silence and the heaving breaths of both the occupants was breaking each other like a heavy hammer denting a metal sheet. It was 7 minutes past crossing that bus stop.
Trying to break the silence, he took a breath and chuckled up-
“What if all of this was like TV series, and there were alternate ending theories? ”
Slipping to the comforts of the old jokes for probably the last time because she knew that she won’t have the luxury of such a place further any soon, she chimed in-
“Sounds exciting! What’s on your mind, eh? ”
“It starts to rain all of a sudden which is quite unexpected looking at the shining weather, and they share a kiss.”
” Wow, really!”, she was laughing really hard which filled the small space of the car with a pleasing echo of sorts.
“Watch out”, he screams and she takes a sharp turn.
“I didn’t know you’re such a good driver, you didn’t tell me about it before!”
With just a minute remaining, she took a roundabout to return back on the way towards the bus stop and it started raining all of a sudden.
The cacophony of a bus’s blaring horn jolted Diana out of her thoughts back to the real world. Peering outside, she was just a minute away from her office. Paying the fare, she stepped out of the cab and made her way to the lift in a hurry. 12th floor, she pressed the button. Ahead of her, two gentlemen were having a chat of which a particular line caught her fancy- (In a broken Hindi)- “Woh wife kis kaam ki who doesn’t know household work and has been brought up like a shehzaadi. Nahi chahiye aisi aurat ”
And a single thought crossed her mind-
Ghar do ya do se zyaada logon se banta hai, zaroori nahi makaan ho ya na!
Par makaan ke liye sirf ek insaan hi kaafi hai , chaahe aur koi ho na no.Maybe the lady in question has earned herself a property, but not home! Such bad luck...
And she started her mundane day all over again!
The shards of my broken being
That’s me…
With the outlook of that sugar-coated doughnut,
which looks all sweet outside but is actually dry inside?
That’s me…
That’s me…
That’s me who’s as still as a corpse,
because I know that the shards of my broken being
because I know that the shards of my broken being
will pierce my foot with every step I take forth.
I fear going back to my bed alone.
For in this certain uncertainty,
my anxiety will greet me in that form of shaking and going cold
For in this certain uncertainty,
my anxiety will greet me in that form of shaking and going cold
all of a sudden in the middle of the night!
I have no one to talk to.
For in this certain uncertainty,
my fears will haunt me again
For in this certain uncertainty,
my fears will haunt me again
when someone will show me the hope
to take me out of the dark and still leave me alone
to let the dark sting my solitude.
There’s a pretentious debate of whether am growing up or not.
For in this certain uncertainty,
I am losing the parts of me I loved, the things I loved,
to accept the shards of my broken being!
And sitting on that table,
my stillness begs to shrill,
and let the shards of my broken being
and let the shards of my broken being
pierce everything around!
Conversations and discussions
Today, I’ll try to take a walk down the lane with a part of me which has right now distanced itself from the entire canvas of my existence.
(Me- M, Her- H )
M- Hi!
H – Hello dear!
M- Its been days we really had a heart to heart conversation and discussion.
H- Does there really exist a stark difference between the two? And please don’t quote the dictionary as your evidence!
M- Let the truth see the light through us today then, I should say.
H- Truth... A word with too heavy a meaning from which you are now trying to run away?
M- Errm, I think I was running in circles around it for a while.
H- It seems you’ve finally mustered the courage to reach the centre then, that’s what brings you to me right?
M- Yes.
H- What’s making your journey with me so difficult?
M- Oh, that’s exactly my question to you!
H- You have become a conundrum of confusion, laziness and wallowing in self-pity. And that’s precisely what is suffocating me to stay with you!
M- You being more logical amongst us, you can really help me to find out the reason or reasons behind it because I am unable to.
H- Here is exactly where you are mistaken. Your approach to this particular issue is flawed. Reasons aren’t always the source of worry, the wrong approach can ruin even more if not less. Not every problem is like the plant with strong roots penetrating the deep soil which needs to be uprooted. This is one of them! You really just need to cut this stem and let a new one grow instead.
M- Elaborate, please?
H- You know, what has brought you this far? It’s an interesting exchange scheme – Your dreams and the resources that are required to fulfil them. I have shown everyone the dream and the conviction of the potential to fulfil it. So what if the time like the Sun is playing a hide and seek with you? You still have the resources with you, which is a solid foundation for your growth just like the soil. I agree the bug of fatigue has bitten your main stem, but trust me the roots are still doing fine.
M- Okay-Okay! But I’ll be honest with you, it’s really seeming like everything is there in front of me – closer than before but still out of my reach.
H- An interesting illusion indeed!
M- Illusion?
M- Illusion?
H- Yes, an illusion because even when you are just a pinch away from your goal you still are finding it out of reach! You have everything with you now – The dreams, its resources and most importantly time. The only thing missing is your will power! Trust me, I have seen us in better days with this very will power and today we are standing here is all just because of this one vital thing!
M- Do me a favour, take me along with you!
H- I am always there with you, just take a deep breath!
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